3/7/26 - Contained Joy, Absorbed expanisive energy, joy in packing

Woke up pretty late because I couldn’t sleep last night since I took a nap really late. And then immediately started packing with mom. We packed the glass/dishes in the kitchen. Then I went to go rest for a bit. I’m taking brecks guilt free because I know if I don’t, I’ll just be more drained for longer periods. It’s like body non-negotiables at this point and I’m glad.

Something I noticed is that my joy feels stable. It’s like a new skill. Even when I went on my walk two days ago, I was happy but it was contained and regulated. Not like before where I felt like it was out of my control, and I’m not “scared” or limiting my joy either. It’s just not consuming me like it used to. I’m still stabilized. I’m still me.

Blowdried my hair, and then we had to drive to meet up with the owner. Her daughter in law came this time. Something interesting happened where it didn’t feel expansive this time like it did last saturday. It felt normal like this was already my house. That’s how I knew I already absorbed the expansive energy because my soul already moved in the day I said goodbye to my current home. I have arrived.

Ngl this used to scare me before, but I know exactly why it happened. It’s not because the magic is gone, it’s because the magic is my baseline now. People say external goals get old fast. This is why. Because every time you upgrade, you also absorb the frequency so it’s no longer a “high”. And that’s why people get stuck chasing/performing.

Paid the rent, got the garage code, etc. My Xfinity box had already come in too.

Mom and I went to the mandir after. There was an event for holi so everyone was in the colors. I was starving and somehow after a while, I was so drained. Idk why the mandir drains me nowadays.

On our way home, we stopped by trader joes and grabbed some flowers.

Came home and went straight to my room again to rest, and then took a nap. Woke up, packed some more, ate pouv bhaji, packed some more, and now resting again.

Mom was starting to have anxiety and I had to set her straight to her that we need to stay home and she can’t spill her anxiety on me. I need to convse my energy.

I’m thinking about writing a letter to survival me today before officially moving but I’m too tired so we’ll see.

The only thing that’s annoying me is that my couch isn’t selling. But whatever.

Took a melatonin gummy so I could officially wake up extra early tomorrow. Praying I can make it through these next two days without exhausting my body.

This time, i’m trying to find joy in packing and organizing to train my body that lifting isn’t survival, it’s good and it’s strength building.

Curiosity - things in my new house

Joy - Getting the keys to my new house

7/10 - I bit stressed with the packing but I’m trying to stay as regulated as possible so I don’t lose more energy

Intuition - I feel like I should write a goodbye letter before going tomorrow

Energy:
20% - logistics on packing
20% - getting keys to the new house
20% - mandir
40% - packing