9/8 - Feeling low

Today was a 6/10

Yesterday’s horoscope is still on my mind but I’m also just having a hard time staying prositive and believing. It feels like nothing is moving and although I’m appreciative for everything in my life and things could be worse but I don’t feel lucky. Everything just feels a little mid. I’m having a hard time actually believing I’m lucky, things are working in my favor, and all my dreams are coming true because sure I’m becoming the person I’ve always wanted to become I’m feeling a little down. Will I actually ever be happy?

Part of me likes loving something so much that it hurts because what’s the point of loving something but staying detached. It sounds nice in the context of regulating my emotions and peace but I love the high too.

Idk, is there a middle ground to this? Like my horoscope says, will I even love the person I marry? Or will I just marry cause it feels right?

Everything just feels mediocre and I’m almost desperate for some sort of miracle to believe god and the universe truely is on my side.