4/8 - Your biggest supporters will be your biggest hinder
Sometimes the people that were once your biggest supporters will also be your biggest hinderance. And that’s how I’m feeling right now.
I woke up with a huge list of things I wanted to get done and just wanted to treat today as a reset day. Wanted to go workout early, read, write my caption for my IG post, and maybe even film some content. Just wanted to take steps towards my goals.
But woke up late and as soon as I woke up had a message from my best friend on how I was inconsiderate on sat. After explaining to her and even maybe kind of going off on her I get another text from the girl whose birthday it was, saying some completely inaccurate things. I somehow kindly gave her the whole rundown on everything and still decided to explain myself. But honestly I don’t think it’s going to do anything, when people want to misunderstand you they will no matter what. You can’t really explain your character to people if they just don’t get you.
Part of me felt like I wasted my day explaining stuff to them, but also another part of me is proud that I’m sticking my ground. My other friend is literally just throwing names at me “lack accountability, selfish, etc” but honestly it feels freeing knowing that I know who I am and the words don’t affect me anymore. I just don’t care. And I’m not going to say sorry for things I’m not sorry for. Even though I did give a base sorry cause whatever but I’m not going to say stuff like “oh yeah it’s all my fault” cause no it’s not. The most important thing from that day is that I was being myself.
And I’m honestly finally not scared of losing people anymore. If anything I think they’re actually hindering me. And part of me feels like I’m going to lose them to get what I want, but in the process I also know I’ll align with people that are truly meant for me.
My test is to be myself.
Because when you do something different people will try to make you bend to whats comfortable to them. And I’m honestly tired of making myself smaller to be digestible to someone that was never going to understand my heart to begin with.
Funny thing is literally my favorite influencer posted about it too “Don’t let anyone dictate your life… Stop living under someone else’s expectations.” Right when I needed to hear this, so taking this as a sign.
And honestly even the little bit of “let them” that i read still felt empowering. It’s like there is energy in the book. A huge believer on how content transsends energy.
So if they want to misunderstand me… let them.
I truly didn’t enjoy hanging out with them anyways. It just felt uncomfortable, so they are no longer my peace.
Anyways I love how today was supposed to be my calm, self care day and it’s just turning into a day where I’m explaining myself to people. Like bruh, no. I had different expectations for today but it really does just feel like another work day and honestly I’m annoyed about it. Should have just gone to a coffee shop.
Still decided to try to turn the day around by running my errands, and then going to the gym. My gym fit was very cute today. 10/10. I did my 10k steps, and while I was walking at the gym. I was randomly like what if I make the caption of my post about how you’re going to piss at least one person off when you try making content.
Will this piss my friends off? 100% but it really is the back story to the picture. There really is a lesson there. So why add a fake lesson and fake caption to match when I literally could be talking about the real thing.
Idk it just feels right and aligned. Part of me is still scared to piss off my friends but idk I just feel a calling to post it. Like my intuition is telling me to post it.
That’s when I’m like, with the other stories I have to tell instead of trying to plan a perfect photoshoot maybe I just need to post the actual picture that aligns.
That’s the only way people will actually feel the message. Almost like realism over perfection.
Draining day but we made it through.
5/10 - too much friendship drama but also proud of myself.
Intuition - I should post the caption because someone else might be struggling with it. Just like Anci’s post was my sign. My post can be a sign for someone else.
Energy:
60% - Friendship drama
20% - Working out
20% - Writing/releasing all thoughts
